blinded by a promised word

a few things, as i am perched on my chair:

1. couldn't sleep, still can't.
2. purchased the coolest cure-referencing shirt ever, made by davey havok.
3. everything is white.
4. i enjoy the company of little old ladies, nearly as scatterbrained as i.
5. i'm out of the funk!

i just need time.


title: brought back to life - nekromantix

but you're so cute when you're frustrated, dear

as you can see on my site here i have posted yet another davey havok drawing.  this one was for a girl who is trading me a drawing of her own. her name is jessi.  i am exceedingly jealous of her talent. i cannot wait to see her drawing for me.

i have been working on some projects and hopefully some of them will be wrapping up soon. i lost my last piece of watercolor paper that i cut for hunter for my troubadour tetra set. he's all i have to paint to finish that up. still looking.

picked up another commission outside of my graphics business.  this is one i'm excited about.

i may be making a coloring book for pennigan's preschool class. too cute and also exciting.

chad was showing me some usb rechargeable batteries on a website called geekologie.com.  looking through other things on the site, i found a computer case that looks like a classic nintendo controller.  i've been wanting to build a new computer for a while, but this is the first time i've been inspired to consider making my own case and make it a work of art!  just bought a new bluetooth mouse on newegg.com. yay.

 

title: interpol - pda

you couldn't stop it now

last night i finished my jade portrait for mdot and posted it up on deviantart.com.  there was instant reaction to it, people adding it to their favorites and commenting, and that sure feels good.  i was more amused, however, that immediately after posting when i checked my messages on the site, it timestamped some of the messages as "in the future". 

i recently returned from dropping off a clingy pennigan to her school and i have had some time to simply browse the internet.  i stumbled upon a fun new website called "the awesomer.com" and i found this neat video filmed in berkely at the nasa science laboratories and animated by art students.

watch it here on vimeo.

and a quote for the day: "feeding plants to animals then eating the animals is like filtering water through a sewer then drinking it" - bruce friedrich

 

title: underwear - pulp

pay for my crime

for those of you who live near:

kasper toyota

american red cross blood drive

tuesday, 9.2.08 from 3 - 7 pm

you get a free oil change coupon!

title: david bowie - can't help thinking about me

can you feel it?

i've been busy with this that and the other thing and as much as i'm on the computer, i'm not so much online updating stuffs.  i've been trying to more art, both traditional and digital.

i've been working in illustrator a lot more lately, not just for my studio work but now more for myself and art for art's sake.  lots of reading and studying.  i hope i have something to show for it.

just got done with nearly 12 hours of intense computer repair.  *grumbles*  i'm ready for some dessert.

 

title: too long - daft punk

can't find the spoon that we once had

i did a little sketch in bed before i got up this morning. it needs some work, but i thought i'd post.

i'm not feeling up to par these last couple days. maybe i'm just worn out. too much to do, and as much as i like being away, i just want to be home. i've been doing so well.

i finally got my new monitor up that i bought nearly a month ago, and i still haven't gotten my new sheets onto my bed, and it's been weeks. i just want to sleep in it, that's all!

my shoulder hurts from wii tennis.


title: cibo matto - spoon

i am a virus

playmate lauren anderson >>

*wiggles eyebrows*

some of you may know that i've been busy with family and things lately. i was gone for a few days in pymatuning, and out of 23 people, i was the only one entirely unaffected by a nasty stomach virus that went through, in and right back out of everyone there. poor vomiting sick people. maybe it's because i'm vegan. maybe it's the noni and acv. i was more than exposed. i expected to be one of the next to get sick, but it never came.

you can infect someone. today, i'd like to announce patrick has taken the final step to becoming completely straightedge, and he too is a new vegetarian and doing well. i'm proud of him. look at how much you can change. let's be amazing. they don't shine like us.

i just heard word that joshua's conditional release went through. this is fantastic news, and all of you out on the east coast, i'll be coming to visit while he's in maryland for his 5 month training.

oh, and our fifth wedding anniversary was this saturday. sometimes i feel that we've hardly known each other that long, but then i look at what we've built together.

title: audioslave - bring em back alive

when will you stop and realize

i'm amused at today's title song lyrics. sounds a little hardcore for talking about pms... like maybe i had something good to say, or something to vent about. nope.

this one is for becky, and all the other cranky females. i like to use natural, safe and intelligent solutions for whatever problems need solving. i was reading a bit about holistic remedies and treatments for various ailments, and i know becky is one to not want to take medicine for her pains.

• exercise - it improves blood and oxygen circulation, including through the pelvis, and releases feel-good endorphins.
  
• get a massage - massage therapists can target your abdomen to ease the tension.
  
• avoid caffeine - it constricts blood vessels and increases tension.
  
• eat less dairy and meat - antibiotics we add to certain foods may make cramps worse.
  
• spice with cayenne - cayenne pepper also improves blood circulation.
  
• b vitamins, which may also help with nonmenstrual cramps.
  
• primrose oil - widely used in europe for pms symptoms, it packs healthy omega fatty acids; so does borage oil.
  
• jasmine oil - another pms symptom-soother; use it to massage your abs.

these may not be as effective as popping a pill, but they're gentler on your liver, and mean less toxic chemicals going into landfills. not only this, but avoidance of the animal products and caffeine, and getting good exercise are just plain good for you.



title: 401 kill -rise against

whatever we want whenever we please

everyone loves pam anderson, right? check this video out.


i've been pretty busy with workywork and running.

joshua was home for abour 24 hours this weekend. father's day was like christmas for him.


i'm inspired to art more, so watch for it! watch me on deviantart.com! more coming soon!





title: nofx - mattersville

smoke pours out the stack

reading some news headlines, taking a break from work and cleaning. i'm feeling a wee bit depressed about things, and especially this:

Four Nations Attempt to Become Carbon Neutral

World Environment Day is being marked around the world today. It comes as four countries are competing to become the first nation to go entirely carbon neutral. Iceland, Norway, Costa Rica and New Zealand are all attempting to reduce their net emissions of greenhouse gases to zero. Jeanette Fitzsimons of the Green Party in New Zealand said great progress has already been made.

Jeanette Fitzsimons: “Our electricity system is nearly 70 percent renewable now, mainly from hydro, but with some geothermal and increasingly a little bit of wind. We have a goal, a government goal, to raise that to 90 percent renewable by 2025.”

Meanwhile, Reuters is reporting the United States will announce next month that it cannot meet an international goal of making big cuts in greenhouse gas emissions by 2020. Chief US climate negotiator Harlan Watson said, “It’s frankly not do-able for us.”

the united states' stance is pretty much 'we don't care, we give up, we're not even gonna try.' how can i be a proud american? *puke*

however.... today is still full of good things:

baking applesauce bread on a ridiculously hot and humid day
shopping for the best father's day gift ever... done!
dancing with penny
joshua is coming home tonight
and we're having company too
listening to a new love; metro station





title: letting you - nine inch nails

as the sun retreats to the hills

i'm procrastinating again.

i got back from kentucky again, last night. fell asleep at 6, woke up at 11, and was awake until it was getting noticibly light outside.

i bought a subscription to deviantart.com, yay. you can check out my gallery.

jessica grey also bought one. we kept each other company last night. she is also an amazing artist, and you should check out her gallery too.

i started a major overhaul/redesign of my website, ottsgraphics.com.... go check out the 'under construction' page. it's looking good already!



title: wester - afi

we don't question what we've become

i've been busy landscaping and arting and reading. much to do. listening to lords of acid, and it's not majorly inspirational. it is cloudy out, and i'm in a damp mood. this must be remedied. however, i am a bit excited about zombies in columbus.



title: nofx - we march to the beat of an indifferent drum

immune to your consultations

yay! i found my lost pencil!

i'm feeling like i need to change my studio office around again. it's still not perfect. also, i think i may curl my hair for work today. i've never done that before. once more, things are changing and starting to fall into place again.

there is much to look forward to. next week is vacation with nicole for her birthday! that will bring good stories to tell, and hopefully lots of photos. let's hope i remember everything i need to pack. i need more than this snow-white tan.



title: david bowie - changes

i want to ride my bicycle

i have an update on the troubadour tetra set! i worked on adam a bit at work yesterday. i brought him again today, but it's 8 o'clock now, and i doubt i'll have time before i leave to work on him. i don't have a scan here, but i swear i posted one on my photobucket. well, crap. i'll do it later. last night i did a quick sketch of a zombie, so i suppose i can post her instead. again, i'm sure jen would appreciate this.

yesterday was mother's day, and i worked. i got the cutest little plaster mold of penny's hand. she and joshua met me after work and took me out for dinner to applebee's. their menu is very veg-unkind, and i ended up with a boring veggie burger that i'm almost sure wasn't vegan.

today, i put in my two weeks notice at kasper. i will no longer be their receptionist ninja. i will be working strictly for myself and freelance. [commissions welcome! contact me!]

[note to self: acceptance letters to hogwarts community college]

title: queen - bicycle race

you don't need one word to talk to me

a few things:

- joshua may not be able to come home until october, unless there are special circumstances

- retailtherapy and techtherapy *nerds*

- dinner with meg

- my good laptop needs repaired

- i wanna arts. too lazy today

- i email myself shopping lists and to do lists

- i want warm and sunny

- feeling semi-accomplished today

and

- ZOMBIE PINKIE PIE! [haha, it's old, for jason by penny]

title: cibo matto - king of silence

you can't always get what you want

joshua is fighting with me, more or less, and i'm trying not to fight back. i'm still losing. i hate sounding emo, but i'm feeling numb. so i'm going to self-medicate by posting an old watercolor i did back in high school.

here's some penguin love, and i dedicate this to jen.

relax.
deep breaths.
aromatherapy.
carrietherapy.
gratefulness.

i really just want to yell at him and make him see that i'm not worthless and it hurts me that he's mad at me. i'm over it, and i'm not being selfish by choosing to let it go. i wish he would see that although i'm far from perfect, i am good enough. count your blessings and don't dwell on the petty things. xanax, i wish you were here.

for the honor of love

psh... honor? love? right now that sounds like a load of crap to me. getting over it, though.

just got back from kentucky, and it was a good visit except for this morning. the weather was beautiful and we had a no-pressure evening to relax.

here is another old assignment: number 5.

i'm bringing my watercolors to work today. i hope i don't get in trouble.




title: she-ra theme song... it's stuck in my head.

i could not get enough

here is assignment 4 from last month, for you to enjoy. for carrie.

i scanned some pages out of some old old sketchbooks, and i think i'll be posting those to deviantart.com when i get the time.

i'm off to kentucky on a last minute run. i'll bring little black.

"water goes over a dam and under a bridge, you blabbering school boy."

title: under the bridge - red hot chili peppers

whatever you think of me

how to win a street fight

this was rather disappointing. i was ready for an article on ass-kicking. pshhh. i'm going to recommend my little brother Chris for further and better 'if you're ever getting attacked...' tips, tricks and information. i'm sure he's on myspace somewhere. watch me not link you.

i want to go home and paint. hopefully i can do some drawing here.

i'm setting up a myspace for my dad's band. this makes me feel slightly silly.

oh yeah...
there is a show (not my dad's band) on friday night at the underground, and you all should come out. mmyes.



title: new order - as it is when it was

time to apply your magic touch

i started outlines for a series of watercolors yesterday.

i started painting today, and really, that's all i've done besides take a shower. i've got pandora.com hooked up to the big amp, and i'm working away. i'm mostly satisfied with the first piece, and i hope i finish them all soon. i have to play receptionist tonight, and i cannot take them with me. maybe i'll try, though!

here is a photo of the progress, and a couple links to additional photos of 3 of the set:

draft outlines

progress

title: boyfriendgirlfriend - infatuation dot com

you're older than you've ever been

and now you're even older, and now you're even older, and now you're even older. you're older than you've ever been and now you're older, still. time is marching on, and time, is still marching on!

how did i forget to post this? we are the official mascot of alltel in norwalk. the allel ninjas!

mah leg has fallen asleep, my throat is tight with frustration at something i have no control over, and i should sleep now. maybe a bit of reading. yes. but she keeps popping up on my screen. deep breaths. i can handle this.



title: they could be heroes

you savor the flavor

i just found this crappy photo and thought it was funny, for some reason.

NOT STEAK.

title: the smiths - meat is murder

on the way

today is pennigan's birtheve! we're having a small get together here at our home for the celebration of her 4th birthday, which is tomorrow.

i found this she-ra dvd set at the record store, and with her being an avid he-man fan already, thought she might like this!

i'm praying she doesn't get any loud obnoxious toys. jen and i had this conversation yesterday, and we concluded that our girls like movies, clothes, drawing and games more than the toys they get and forget about.

...and everything seems to be made overseas anymore. give penny a nice recycled, made in usa sketchpad, and she's thrilled.

now we blast the music and clean and prepare for par-tay!

title: 6 to 8 - afi

take your canvas bags

to the supermarket!
tim minchin and a bit of green humor: watch
eyeliner! rawr! carrie! rawr!


and i bought a new cd today, well, a used but new to me cd...
blue sunshine by the gloves
i hope its great

...but not as much as you, you see

GARRRRRRRARRR.
suqking technology.

that is all.

ay, pistolero!

i've done a bit of extreming in the last day and a half. yesterday morning, joshua, pen and i.. and maddie... we all packed up and drove down to kentucky. everyone rode in the big truck pulling the camper but me. i was driving the little lunchbox car. penny and i got to meet andy and robin, joshua's neighbors. they are lovely people, and they have a nice dog, lady bird. we stayed the night in the camper with joshua, then penny and i drove back in the big truck. i had to work today and i feel like i've done nothing but sit. well, except for that crazy impulsive cleaning that i did in the basement inbetween driving and work.

as far as my artwork--i have been sketching, but i haven't had a chance to get photos/scans, and i've also started another piece of digital work. it's for jen, and it involves zombies.



title: pistolero - juno reactor

take me to the place i love

today was a lazy day.

i spent the day reading and drawing. i like being taken away from the stress of reality, into a fantasy world of words and pictures. sometimes the best place to go is nowhere. we made brownies and did some minimal cleaning and laundry. i didn't shower till 6pm.

meg, brian and brody came to visit today. it's always nice to have them.

today's assignments:

title: under the bridge - red hot chili peppers

it's cold out, but her popsicle melts

the other night, i was up late, lonely and sad. i was looking others' artwork, and feeling like i had lost who i was. i'm gathering up the broken pieces, bit by bit.

yesterday i made a commitment to draw something everyday.

i have requested the help of some friends, in an effort to keep me motivated. each day, i'm given an assignment, or something(s) to draw or sketch, and i do.

right: this is my first assignment from yesterday.

left:

today i was given another photo to sketch, and it was yet again davey. no complaints. i gave him a tiny hint of color.

i am enjoying this.

i hope my notebook fills up quickly!

title: these things - she wants revenge

earth hour

earth hour is today!

march 29, 2008 at 8 pm to 9pm local time.

the goal is to shut off all your lights and non-essential electrical appliances for an hour this evening, in an attempt to promote energy conservation.

from WWF: " at 8pm local time on the 29 march millions of people in some of the world's major cities will use the simple action of turning off the lights for one hour to deliver a powerful message about the need for action on global warming. "

here are some links:

earth hour
wikipedia
google
wwf earth hour
earth hour 2008 youtube video from wwf

i'm going to do it, and i've been telling everyone. i'm putting up a sign on my desk as receptionist at the biggest car dealership in sandusky.

every little bit counts, people! join in!

diary full of trash

yay! i managed to sign in on the first attempt!

i haven't been updating as much as i want to, but sometimes i have nothing great to say. even my own journal missed a complete month...not that it, or this, is anything fabulous.

my favorite holiday is halloween, for those of you who don't already know me well enough to know that by now. it came up in conversation today.

i have been working a piece of photoshop digital artwork for erin, and i was getting frustrated with my lack of knowledge and skills when it comes to digital painting. i decided to take a break and draw in a sketchbook. i practiced sketching jade puget's facial features to help with my digital work. here's what i came up with:

i'm much better with a pencil than a shotty tablet and vista. but i wanna learn! *cries*

title: by your side - tokio hotel

'cause someday the bricks are gonna fall

yesterdy was my birthday, and it's wasn't a great one. i have much to be thankful for, and things could always be worse. i seem to have an above average amount of things that go wrong in my daily life, but sometimes i figure that i'm the one to get it, because i can handle it. maybe it's trying to teach me patience.

thursday, march 6, nicole took me out in royal oak to a vegan restauant and to a nofx show. oh, it was more than wonderful, and just a perfect night. we were front and close to center, first on the barrier. i got a guitar pick from el hefe.

i was already in the detroit area, at the palace [where the pistons play]. my little brother, chris, was wrestling in the state tournament, and he placed 8th. i'm so proud of him.

i'm listening to nine inch nails' new album set titled ghosts. it's strictly instrumental, and i love it, like all trent reznor's other work.



title: screaming at a wall - minor threat

and all that jazz

i'm hella pissed off.

i hate vista.
i hate old laptops.
i hate failing hardware.
i hate networking issues.
i hate how all the bad stuff seems to happen at once.

deep breathing....


hey you guys, remind me to post, would ya? i owe someone a new video. nag me.



title: from chicago

i'm all lost in the supermarket

you guys know i'm all out for a better healthier world. i learned something recently that i read knowing i was going to let you know.

you know those little annoying stickers on the fruit and veggies in the produce section? that is, if you even shop in the produce section...that would be a good place to start: getting away from all the unhealthy processed and preserved foods in all their wasteful packaging. anyway, the stickers...

the numbers on those little stickers let you know whether they've been conventionally grown, or organic, or even genetically modified (GM).

GM foods are a bit questionable to me. they haven't been around very long, so we don't fully know any long term health risks, and there are questions of reducing biodiversity.


Look for the labels stuck on your fruits and veggies:

a four-digit number means it's conventionally grown.
a five-digit number beginning with 9 means it's organic.
a five-digit number beginning with 8 means it's GM.


title: lost in the supermarket - the clash

i gotta new sensation

gravity(red)

soooo... chelsie made a blog!

it's not much yet, but we're all eager to see what she has to say.

check it out at http://gravityred.blogspot.com/

title: new sensation - inxs

never looked better, and you can't stand it

here are a few more pictures from jamie's visit. these are from her camera. i haven't even seen what is on my camera yet!





title: there's a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't thought of it yet - panic! at the disco

that's when you stu-stu-stutter something profound

my sister was here this week! we had a fabulous time. we did lots of things:

went shopping in cleveland and got hardly anything at all
ate food
made a pretty little dude out of a broken take-out box of fries
rented and watched silly stupid movies like superbad and hot rod
took our pictures with mclovin
slept in
IMed each other even though we were maybe 20 feet away from chuthers
took some silly pictures and movies

now, see, i worked every day that she was here, and we still had fun. not as much, for we really couldn't go anywhere for very long. oh well.

when she left for michigan, she took pennigan with her for the weekend. yay for time off! i'm sure gonna miss them both.


title: nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks - panic! at the disco

i'm in a funky way

i'm...horny horns! hhhorny toad! haha, we watched o brother, where art thou? the other day. oh, that reminds me, joshua's birthday is coming up, jan 14. he'll be 26.

i'm currently listening to big head todd's newest album that came in the mail for free, and watching pennigan dance like a fool. we're throwing popcorn and catching it in our mouths.

i was surfing around, reading articles and checking my feeds as usual, and i came across a little tidbit that i thought i might share with you. now you all know that i tend to frown upon unhealthy habits. i'm becoming less enthused about being an american. even though the evidence is there, it seems you would rather eat your junk and destroy yourselves than eat a little broccoli and live a longer, happier, healthier life. article


title: vibeology - paula abdul

i'm smitten, i'm bitten, i'm hooked, i'm cooked...

i'm stuck like glue.

uh, here's a mucha video. *skips off*




title: why can't i be you? - the cure

we called the truth a lie

here i sit, at my great and spacious desk, in the middle of the great and spacious showroom of kasper toyota of sandusky, looking out of the wide expanse of the surrounding walls of windows, and i am tired.

i have been spending as much time as possible helping the lovely carrie with her writing endeavors. i find much enjoyment from being her soundboard, brainstormer and "acting" partner. aside from her amazing writing, carrie also has an astounding digital artistic streak in her. she is pure brilliance. she motivates me and makes me feel creative and helpful. thank you, carrie.

joshua saw our phone bill and saw that i use thousands of texts in a month, and i only laughed.

sometimes i want a chihuahua to carry around with me. i don't know that i even like them that much. ha! i just had a crazy notion...i do have a bunny that i might be able to fit in a purse...

hella.

*dances*


title: lost in translation - apoptygma berzerk

they find me, intangible, invisible

last night i had planned on staying in. it was 8:30pm and i was still in lounge pants and an oversized hoodie, sitting with my feet tucked under myself, pecking away at my laptop keyboard. i had made previous arangements with nicole to go out, but things were falling out of alignment for a good night. then niki called. nicole called again. they were going anyway...so alright, i'll go.

i threw on some jeans with a rip in the back pocket, my new "curiouser and curiouser" hoodie and pinned my hair up. we started off in dreary dull norwalk, but soon headed off to sandusky, singing loudly to afi; poor niki. we had red lobster open their doors for us, freezing outside, so we could collect shawna on our way to crowbar. bryce and ron were pleasantly surprised to see us, and we had an enjoyable time.

we were nearly attacked by a group of three "men" who were to be performing that night. they took pictures with us, being the prettiest group in the place. boys 2 men, was it? something like that. we will undoubtedly be posted online somewhere.

nicole and niki both looked beautiful. ron was quite pretty, even without his typical bandana. i don't know how much i had going for me in the looks department, but i was covered all over in the softest material, making me more than touchable. bryce appreciated it, even noting that my purse was soft.

and i totally forgot to mention that they played the leaving song pt. II for nicole and i when we walked in. sweet action.


title: where would you like them left? - blaqk audio

they come out when they eat

this holiday has been rather uneventful and average. christmas went by without seeing hardly anyone, and not too many phone calls were made or recieved. as far as gifts go, the only thing i asked for, i bought myself. joshua saved the day and got me tickets to go see cirque du soleil! erin brought me a beatiful sparkly bracelet and a hella sweet afi shirt *loves*. amanda sent me a whole set of colored sharpies and some other cute things, and nicole brought me some sensual delights (oils and candies).

here are some photos from december of yours truly...


chad is awesome, and i'm curently loving reading and collaborating with carrie.



title: beatles - aphex twin